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13 Differences Between Women And Men
1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on
sale.

4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving

each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the

next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early

morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote

on a piece of paper,

“Please wake me at 5:00 AM ” He left it where he knew she would find

it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM

and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why

his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the

bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,

not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws”

WOMEN’S REVENGE

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman

wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a

television set in her purse.

“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, ” but my husband refused to come shopping with

me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women

use a day…

30,000 to a man’s 15,000.

The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat

everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be

so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

“The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first,

and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here

and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can

just wait for my coffee.”

Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in

the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed

says………”HEBREWS”

God may have created man before woman,

but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN
HANDLE IT

Low-Tech answers to high-tech problems

Sometimes the answer is not to go out and buy another gizmo or gadget. Here are some new uses for everyday things that can help you get out of a jam.

Wet phone?
The toilet, the sink, a puddle, the laundry… it’s so easy for your phone to wind up soaked through and through. Everyone has an opinion on how best to dry out a wet cell phone, but the technique I like best is to remove the battery and place the phone in a bowl of uncooked white rice. The rice wicks the water from the phone. (If your phone uses a SIM card, remove it too. At least you’ll have your data.)

Drying out a wet phone with a hair dryer is often a first impulse, but heat can damage the phone even more. For more ideas on drying, from using silica gel to halogen lamps, see Wikihow.

Sleep through the alarm clock?

OK, this one will cost you a cheap wineglass. Break the stem and put your phone inside. The glass amplifies the sound. This one (and photo) come courtesy of Lifehacker.

Need a filter for your camera flash?

Cell phones demand that you get up close and personal when you take a photo, and often the flash will wash the color right out of your subject. To diffuse the flash, use a white coffee filter to make an impromptu filter. I tear the bottom off the cone and put the ruffles around my phone like one of those doggie flea collars.

Taming cords

There are plenty of products you can buy to help keep your gadgets’ cords together, but the tube at the end of the toilet paper roll gives you the same results. Real Simple ran this photo in a recent issue.

DVDs with scratches
A lengthy discussion at Lifehacker compared techniques for getting through a movie when your DVD is scratched. The consensus called for either furniture polish or car wax. Apparently the wax fills the scratch and you can watch the movie without missing a scene.

Just put a gob of the stuff right on the disk and wipe. The secret involves using a cloth like an eyeglass cleaner (not a napkin or tissue) to wipe the wax in.

Floss your keyboard with sticky tape
This one reminds me of Garrison Keillor’s running duct tape saga, but sticky tape is pretty handy when it comes to removing the crumbs that get embedded in your keyboard. (You would never think of eating at the keyboard, would you?) Seriously, hold the tape in your hands and do a flossing-like thing between the keys. Hey, get the lint off your pants while you’re at it.

Flash drive trees
Somehow flash drives multiply in our house like amoebas. Now don’t laugh, but those inexpensive earring trees have a second life as a flash drive sorter. With your flash drives all hanging from the tree, you can pick the one that coordinates best with your wardrobe each day.

Got a favorite low-tech tip to share?

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3.My mother taught me : TIME TRAVEL .
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me: LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me: IRONY
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me: WEATHER .
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a mi llion times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me: ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

19.< U> My mother taught me: ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mo ther taught me: GENETICS.
“I swear you’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me: WISDOM ..
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favorite: My MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT JUSTICE
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

 

 

–

Bunk beds unsafe for kids

Indo-Asian News Service

Washington, June 02, 2008

First Published: 23:08 IST(2/6/200

Last Updated: 23:08 IST(2/6/200

They might be on every child’s wish list, but bunk beds are not quite safe - especially for kids under six, according to a new study. 

The study has found that accidents caused by falling off bunk beds are far too common and most children tended to fall head first because of their higher centre of gravity.

Children less than three years old were 40 per cent more likely to sustain head injuries than older children.

The most common injuries included lacerations, contusions, abrasions and fractures. Patients with fractures were almost six times more likely to require hospital admission, transfer to another hospital, or to be held for observation.

Bunk bed-related injuries occur most frequently among males, and half of the cases analysed involved children younger than six. The parts most frequently injured include the head, neck and face.

The study, conducted by investigators at the US-based Centre for Injury Research and Policy, found three-quarters of children who sustained injuries were younger than 10.

The study, which examined patterns and trends of bunk bed-related injuries among children and young adults — up to 21 years — found there were an estimated 572,580 bunk bed-related injuries in the US during the 16-year study period.

“The high rates of injury found in our study suggest the need for increased prevention efforts to lower the risk of bunk bed-related injury, especially among young children and young adults,” said study co-author Gary of the Nationwide Children’s Hospital.

A ghazal by Mirza Ghalib

Ye na thi hamaari qismat k visaal-e-yaar hota
Agar aur jeete rehte yehi intazaar hota

Tere wa’de par jiye ham to ye jaan jhooT jaana
K khushi se mar na jaate agar aaitbaar hota

Teri naazuki se jaana k baNdha tha ehed booda
Kabhi tu na toR sakta agar ustavaar hota

Koi mere dil se poocHe tere teer-e-neem-kash ko
Ye khalish kahaN se hoti jo jigar k paar hota

Ye kahaN ki dosti hai k bane hain dost naaseh
Koi chaarah-saaz hota koi gham-gusaar hota

Rag-e-sang se Tapakta wo lahu k phir na thamta
Jise gham samajh rahe ho ye agar sharaar hota

Gham agar-cheh jaaN-gusal hai pe bachein kahaN k dil hai
Gham-e-ishq gar na hota gham-e-rozgaar hota

KahuN kis se main k kya hai shab-e-gham buri bala hai
Mujhe kya bura tha marna agar eik baar hota

Huey mar k ham jo ruswa huey kiyuN na gharq-e-darya
Na kabhi janaazah uThta na kahiN mazaar hota

Usey kaun dekh sakta k yagaana hai wo yakta
Jo doi ki bu bhi hoti to kahiN do-chaar hota

Ye masaail-e-tasavvuf, ye tera bayaan Ghaalib
Tujhe ham walee samajhte jo na baadah-khwaar hota

Things dearer and people poorer

Caretaker govt hikes power tariff, petroleum prices

By Syed Irfan Raza
ISLAMABAD, Feb 29: The caretaker government on Friday took a much delayed but crucial decision to increase power tariff and petroleum prices which will help the new government to the extent that it will not be blamed for the hike which will push up prices of most essential goods in the country.

The power tariff has been increased by nine per cent. Prices of petrol and HOBC have been raised by Rs5 per litre and that of kerosene oil and light diesel oil by Rs3.5 per litre.

The new rates will apply from Saturday March 1, says a handout issued by the Oil and Gas Regulatory Authority (Ogra).

The hike in petroleum prices was necessitated by constant increases in oil prices in the international market but critics said the caretakers should have gone for periodic increases over the last three months, but for some unexplained reasons the decision was delayed.The nine per cent hike in the electricity tariff will increase its price at the consumer end by Rs38 paisa per unit.

No notification of power tariff increase has been issued and it is expected in a few days.

After the announcement of new ex-depot sale prices of petroleum products by Ogra, the price of motor spirit will go up to Rs58.70 per litre from Rs53.70, HOBC price will rise to Rs69.88 per litre from Rs64.88, kerosene oil price has increased to Rs38.72 per litre from Rs35.23 and the price of light diesel oil has been fixed to Rs36.07 per litre from 32.07.

“We have increased the price to match international prices and to facilitate the new government,” caretaker Finance Minister Dr Salman Shah told a private TV channel.

He said the caretaker government wanted to reduce the burden on the new government because it could be difficult for it to take such a hard decision in the beginning.

Dr Shah said many countries, including India, had recently taken a similar decision and raised petroleum prices in accordance with the international market.

He said the prices of furnace oil were stable and a decision about an increase in its prices would be taken later.

“Delay in revision of oil prices was causing direct impact on national budget and therefore, the increase was imperative. But I assure the people that it is the minimum increase,” he added.

Justifying the increase, Ogra said that the price of petroleum products in the international market had shown the record surge over the past several months which compelled the government to pass on part of the increase on consumers.

A spokesman for Ogra said the government would continue to provide a subsidy of Rs16.82 per litre on kerosene oil and Rs15.30 per litre on light diesel after the price increase.

He said that the price computation had been carried out by Ogra in accordance with the formula prescribed by the federal government.

“It requires that the price be based on average Arab Gulf prices for the last fortnight for Naphtha, diesel, kerosene and HSFO to which Inland Fright Equalisation Margin (IFEM) is added which reflects estimated transportation cost of the products to 29 depots in the country, for the purpose of price equalisation,” says the handout.

Economists said that petroleum prices had been increasing in the international market for the past few months, but the caretakers as well as the previous Shaukat Aziz government at the twilight of its tenure were reluctant to take hard decision of increasing the prices because it was the election year.

They said the direct burden of increase in the prices of petrol and diesel could be avoided had the former government increased the prices systematically.

“There will be a direct impact of oil price hike on the transport sector which will raise transport charges and cause overall price hike in the country,” they said.

The Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) which is likely to form the new government at the centre had already demanded that the caretakers should revise the petroleum prices before the formation of the new set-up so that the new government would not be blamed for the overall price hike to be caused by increasing oil prices.

However, the PPP and the PML-N blamed the previous government for the sudden raise of Rs5 in the price of petrol and Rs3.5 in diesel rates.

PPP secretary-general Jehangir Badar and PML-N chairman Raja Zafarul Haq said there would have been no burden on the people if oil prices would have been increased systematically.

The price of crude recently made a record jump touching $102 per barrel in the international market.

Analysts said it was because of continuous devaluing of dollar and hike in the gold prices in the international market.

when will this madness end…

Death toll in Mingora suicide bombing reaches 50

Saturday, March 01, 2008  MINGORA: The death toll in the suicide bombing here reached 50, while the 16 dead persons were buried in the echoing shrieks and screams of the bereaved throwing the volatile valley into an unprecedented sorrowful and saddened environment. Three more persons, who were wounded Friday evening in the suicide bombing at the funeral prayer of DSP Javed Iqbal here, succumbed to their injuries at the Peshawar Lady Reading Hospital, which has upped the death toll in the incident to 50. Funeral prayers were offered for the deceased at different places including Janazo Masjid and Makan Bagh. Malukabad Union Council Naib Nazim Habibullah besides Iqbal, Ghulam Hussain and others are included among those buried in their ancestral graveyards. Large number of local persons attended the funeral prayer congregations. Eyewitnesses told that the suicide bombing death toll could be more than the official figure, as several persons were also reported missing, whose search was on.

Panel Advises Flu Shots for Children Up to Age 18

By LAWRENCE K. ALTMAN

Published: February 28, 2008

All children ages 6 months to 18 years in this country should receive an influenza shot every year, a federal advisory panel said on Wednesday.

The recommendation expands by about 30 million the number of children who should get annual flu shots. Current pediatric recommendations call for influenza vaccinations for children ages 6 months to about 5 years.

In expanding the new upper age limit to 18 years, the aim is to reduce both the time children and parents lose from visits to pediatricians and missing school and the need for antibiotics for complications, said Dr. Anne Schuchat, who directs the disease agency’s program on immunization and respiratory diseases.

An added expected benefit would be indirect — to reduce the number of influenza cases among parents and other household members, and possibly spread to the general community.

The recommendation, which is voluntary, was made by the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practice, which advises the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta. The C.D.C. and its parent, the Department of Health and Human Services, generally follow the advice of the committee, which is composed of vaccine experts from academia and the private sector.

The committee voted unanimously that the expanded immunization should start as soon as possible, but no later than the 2009-10 flu season. The centers expect that the vaccine industry, which made 132 million doses available this year, will be able to produce a sufficient supply in future years.

Every state but one has reported widespread influenza this winter. In Florida, activity is regional. Last week, the centers reported that 22 children had died in this influenza season.

The C.D.C. has long urged older adults and those with chronic ailments to get influenza shots each season.

In 2004, following the advisory committee’s recommendation, the centers urged that all infants ages 6 months to 23 months receive flu shots to protect them from serious complications of the viral illness. Hospitalization rates among the infant group rivals those among elderly Americans.

In 2006, the centers expanded the recommendation to include children ages 24 months to 59 months to provide them direct protection against influenza infection.

For initial protection, children ages 6 months to 9 years require two doses of flu vaccine, at least one month apart, the committee said. Then they should receive annual shots.

In a new study reported at Wednesday’s meeting, Dr. David K. Shay, who led a team from the C.D.C. and eight state health departments, found that full immunization against flu provided about a 75 percent effectiveness rate in preventing hospitalizations from influenza complications in the 2005-6 and 2006-7 influenza seasons. (The 75 percent rate could range, according to a standard statistical measure known as confidence intervals, from 41 percent to 91 percent.)

The study, which involved children ages 6 months to 23 months who had laboratory confirmed cases of influenza, will continue through this flu season. Because this season seems to be more severe than the last two, the researchers expect to have more cases to analyze and improve the statistical odds.

Vaccines are typically designed to protect against the three strains of influenza. Experts determine the strains based on data from current seasonal transmission and their judgment about future activity. Usually one or two strains are changed in each year’s vaccine.

But committees from the World Health Organization and the United States Food and Drug Administration voted earlier this month to change all three strains in next season’s vaccine. It is the first time that all three strains were changed at once, Dr. Nancy Cox, an influenza expert at the C.D.C., said in a news conference on Feb. 22.

The centers recommendations for annual flu shots for adults include all Americans ages 50 and older; people with chronic lung, heart and other ailments; health care workers; and women who will be pregnant during the influenza season.